Part I:
Parenting style and discipline techniques
There are a couple of different parenting styles.
Even, if parents do not always follow just one style, there are a few main
styles.
First, there is the Authoritarian style. It reflects a style of high behavioral control
but also low warmth towards the child. The parents give strict rules and if the
kid does not follow the rules, the parents will punish him or her. The parents
also demand obedience no matter what. The parents have high expectations to
their kid to fulfill. The parents following the Authoritarian style are also
demanding but no responsive, which means, that they will not explain why the
kid gets punished and therefore the children do not learn what they did wrong
or how they can try to change. They are not giving any choices or other options
to the kids then obedience.
Another parenting style is Authoritative which kind of sounds like the Authoritarian style but
there is a big difference because this style is much more democratic.
Authoritative parents show understanding but they still want to establish the
rules. Here, the parents are willing to listen to the kids and to explain any reactions
or punishments in order to make them understand the reasoning behind a rule.
Also, they will forgive their kids rather than punish so there is less penalty
in total. The parents enforce their own perspective as adults, but also
recognize the child's individual interests and special ways.
The next parenting style is the Permissive style. Here, the parents show less behavioral control
and try to appear as a friend to the child instead of an adult. They have only
few demand and almost no expectations in the kid. They do most things on their
own instead of letting the kid to something. They also do not require mature
behavior from the child. Another fact is that parents with a permissive
parenting style avoid confrontation. They seem afraid of stress and arguments.
The last main parenting style is the uninvolved or passive style. Here, the
parents seem non-caring because there is no behavioral control. They act
neglectful towards the kids and just fulfill the basic needs of a child but
they do not care about the rest or special requests by the kids. Uninvolved parents
would care more about themselves then the kids and are also uninterested and
distant in the education.
Parenting in Germany and in the United States is
different like it would be different in any other country.
Child rearing in Germany is usually a mix between a
caring love and a good strictness.
For sure – not every German or every American is like
the rest but I’ll just go to write out of my perspective.
German kids always have a lot of free time. That’s the
time where they get creative and get to entertain themselves. Germans focus a
lot on school and education. Kids get a lot of homework and practice also after
school.
Even in school, German kids have a 10 minute break
after each lesson to calm down or to get some fresh air outside.
In my opinion, Germans are also really strict which
means that the tolerance for misbehavior is not high. Germans actually handle a
lot with consequences and staying in the room is a well liked punishment. Also
since the past years the taking away from electronics is a common punishment.
In addition since the rearing, raising and discipline
styles in World War II, Germans are a lot against authoritarian education. In
that time, the showing of emotions was not allowed and now we care a lot about
showing emotions. From the toddler age, kids learn not to be shy, to say what
they think and to not be afraid for example, when they have to cry and that
they don’t have to be ashamed or anything.
In addition, Germans give a lot of responsibility to
the kids themselves. For example, when the family has any pets, caring for them
is a big thing and the kids have to do some stuff, too.
There is an assigned responsibility to every person in
the household and so the kids.
Politeness is also a very big thing in Germany. In the
bus kids learn, that they should give their seat to older or disabled people.
Children should say hello, goodbye, thank you and please. It helps them to
learn that they aren’t the only ones with feelings and needs and they learn it
from the youngest ages on.
Lunch in Germany is the main food a day and after that
the kids have to help (depending on the age) with setting the table, loading
the dishwasher or clean the table or the pans.
In Germany, kids know who the “boss” is. The parents
decide and no one would doubt that. That’s why kids in Germany do not
contradict a lot. The kids don’t want to fight about every little thing because
they know that it wouldn’t help anything and they would just get punished for
misbehaving.
Another big fact is that German parents are not afraid
to say no. It is important for the kids to give them room but also to border
them. They know what they are allowed to do and what not.
German parents set the standard of their parenting
style early. The sooner the kids know the rules the better.
Parenting in America on the other side is way
different. When foreign people come to America they may think, that Americans
are too careful and too nice in raising the children.
Nearly every American child is overscheduled. There is
always a lot going on starting even before preschool. Kids go swimming,
dancing, playing soccer, piano or something else. Because of that, kids could
get problems in entertaining themselves. That is a way different thing in
Germany since there is a lot of free time for the kids.
On the other hand with all those activities the time
for school gets rarer. In another way, Americans are too nice as well and they
have problems saying no. Kids get rewarded for nearly not achieving anything
which could later be a problem. They get presents on another kid’s birthday or
get rewarded for doing sport or something. Sure it is important to reward kids
but as soon as it is too often they know that they don’t even have to strain to
achieve something.
In my opinion, Americans are a little bit permissive.
Many parents try to be the kid’s friend and a lot of parents try to avoid
difficult conversations as well as saying no to the kids because they are
afraid that the kids will not love them anymore. Many American parents also
work a lot and they don’t see their kids a lot that’s why they might be afraid
of the kids not loving them anymore.
Not every American family might be like this as well
as not every German but I can just speak out of my perspective.
In my opinion, I like the German parenting style
better. Discipline is an important thing in today’s world and everyone who
wants to be part of it has to adapt.
I will rear my child from the beginning on, setting
rules and borders and making clear who is the boss. Children cannot always get
what they want that is why I will start to say no early and without
discussions. I will definitely tell my kid why I make discussions and I will
also explain important skills of behavior in the world. My aim is not to be too
strict but also not too soft. Kids need a balance between a strict and a loving
parent. Although anyway weather I am strict or not, I will love my kids.
I will support my kids in every situation and I will
be there for them. Kids go through a couple of phases in life and I will try to
understand and support every single one of them. Puberty is one of the hardest
times because the kids just have their own head and they don’t want anyone to
tell them what to do but the best thing parents can do in that phase is to
understand, to calm down but still set boundaries for the kids.
In my opinion, the Authoritarian parenting style is a
not good one since it is too strict and it does not show the kid what he or she
did wrong. Children need loving and caring parents to let them know that they
are loved because otherwise they could get mental trouble about thinking that
they are not loved by anyone.
I want my children to be happy and content as well as
polite to people in their environment. It is really important to me that my
kids will be liked because they are nice and friendly to everyone. I will teach
them in early age how important understanding and supporting is and that
without the basic mental skills life is a lot harder.
All in all, in my opinion it is really important as a
parent to find the perfect balance between a strict and a loving parent to make
the kids feel good. If a child feels good, it will act nicely towards other
persons.
Part II:
Holiday traditions in my home country
My home country Germany has a lot of old traditions
and public holidays. The first one every single year is January 1st.
It is our New Years Day and it is a
national holiday. Here, we celebrate the first day of the Gregorian calendar.
It is like a new beginning every year, a new start for a lot of people with new
aims to reach in the following year.
At midnight of the New Years Day, there are usually
fireworks all over the country. A lot of households buy fireworks in a local
store and then every house has a small (or sometimes big) big firework at their
house.
That already is a big difference between Germany and
America because in America there are just big fireworks for the cities but
there are none in private.
Germans most likely spend the New Years Eve and day
with friends and family depending on the age. On New Year’s Eve, Germans enjoy
to do lead-pouring. Here we hope to get fortunes by the shapes made by molten
lead dropped into cold water. I personally have never done it but it is famous
in my home country.
The next public holiday in Germany is Epiphany “the holy three kings” or
“striking appearance” how we call it in Germany. It is celebrated on January 6th
and it is a religious holiday. Not every state is celebrating it in
Germany and it is mostly common in Baden-Württemberg, Bavaria and
Saxony-Anhalt.
In our community, it is usual that kids dressed like
the holy three kings go with some grown-ups from door to door to sing and to
raise money for a good purpose. Usually, they will bless the household and put
a sign above the door to show everyone that those people have been blessed by
the holy three kings. Epiphany
also is a day 1 that celebrates the
revelation of God the Son as a human being in Jesus Christ.
Another holiday in
Germany is the Good Friday and we
call it “Karfreitag”. It is celebrated two days before Easter Sunday and it is
a religious holiday celebrated all over Germany. It is
traditionally celebrated as the day on which Jesus was crucified.
A lot of Christian churches in Germany celebrate Good
Friday with a subdued service, mostly in the evening, in which Christ’s death
is remembered with hymns, prayers of thanksgiving, a message centered on Christ
suffering for our sakes, and observance of the Lord's Supper.
I believe, that in America, the churches celebrate
Good Friday also with a mess.
Two, respectively three days after the Good Friday
comes Easter Sunday and Easter Monday. Here, we celebrate the
rising of Jesus Christ from the dead, described in the New Testament.
It happened on the third day of his funeral after his crucifixion.
Traditional for our family is to build an Easter
basket. When I was little, I usually built it with my grandpa. We went to the
forest to search for moss and little branches and when we came home, we started
to build the basket for the Easter bunny to come and bring presents. We usually
did that on the Saturday before Easter Sunday. On the Sunday, I always woke up
really early approximately around 6am (like the kids here on Christmas) and I
looked through my window to see, if there is something in the Easter basket.
After that I always woke up my parents and we went downstairs. I took a little
basket and then we went outside to search for the Easter Eggs that we colored
about a week before Easter. The coloring was also a big tradition in our family
and we always decorated about 50 eggs. After we would be done searching for the
eggs, I would go to the Easter basket that we built to check if there is
something in there for me.
Usually I found something like a DVD or some roller
skates or something in there.
After that we usually had a big brunch with the whole
family and we went on a bike ride or took a walk in the afternoon.
On Easter Monday, we continued to eat over the day and
we usually just stay with the family and enjoy our time together.
I cannot really say how Easter is celebrated in
America because I was not with my family on Easter since my family from Germany
came to visit me.
On May 1st, Germans celebrate their labor day. Here, no one has to work and
it is a national holiday. It is celebrated all over Germany. Youths usually
spend Labor Day and the evening before with celebrating.
In our family, we had the tradition to hike to a nice
spot in our town where you have an awesome view. We took a handcart with us,
filled with some snacks and drinks and beer for the men. After that in the
afternoon, we went back home and had a big Barbecue with the whole family.
We did this until I was about 14 years old and then I
started to go hiking with my friends and we also always had a Barbecue after
that.
39 days after Easter Sunday, we celebrate Ascension Day. Here, Christ’s believe
that Jesus Christ ascent to heaven to unite with God, his father. Ascension Day
is usually celebrated on a Thursday and schools all over Germany are closed
from Thursday to Sunday that week.
Here, we do not have any special traditions from our
family we just had Barbecue, because everyone was off from work.
50 days after Easter Sunday, Whit Monday follows. It is a public and religious holiday so no one
has to work and it is celebrated all over Germany. Pentecost remembers the Holy
Ghost's descent on the Jesus Christ's disciples, according to the Bible.
On this weekend of the year, there is always a big
festival in our town called “Kultur Pur”. A lot of musicians come and it is
just a thing, where friends and family come together. I was off of school every
year from Saturday to Pentecost Tuesday.
In Germany, we also celebrate Pentecost with worships.
The next public holiday is held 60 days after Easter
Sunday and is also a religious one. It is called Corpus Christi. It celebrates the tradition and the belief in the body
and blood of Jesus Christ and his Real Presence
in the Eucharist.
It is usually celebrated in a service with a Lord’s Supper.
It is usually on a Thursday so we are off of school
from Thursday to Sunday again.
On August 15th some states of Germany
celebrate the religious “the Assumption
of Mary”. It celebrates the bodily taking up of the Virgin Mary into Heaven at the end of her earthly life. Mary gave birth to
Jesus Christ. In the Catholic Church in Germany, it is common to bless herbs on
this day.
On October 3rd, we celebrate the German Unit Day. This is a political
holiday and it remembers the anniversary of the German reunification in 1990.
On October 31st and November 1st,
we celebrate the Reformation Day as
well as All Saints.
Reformation day is a civic holiday and it is just
celebrated in a few states. All Saints is a holiday in honor of all the saints,
known and unknown. Our family usually goes to the cemetery to think about all
the loved ones, that we lost.
The next religious holiday is Christmas. In Germany, we celebrate it over three days starting on
December 24th. On Christmas, we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.
In our family, Christmas means the togetherness of our loves. When I was
little, my parents and I started Christmas on the evening of December 24th
and we call it “Holy evening”. We went downstairs in our living room and we
found our tree decorated and also a lot of presents under it. Our living room
was usually locked the whole day so that the “Christ Child”, who brings the
presents in Germany, could come in, decorate the tree and place the presents
under it. After opening all the presents, we drove to my Dads parents to see
all of my aunts, uncles and cousins there. We ate dinner there and then opened
a whole lot of other gifts.
Around 8pm, we drove back home and went to my Mom’s
parents who live right next door. There, I got a lot of other gifts and we just
stayed there throughout the evening.
On our first Christmas day, we went to my Mom’s
parents again to have a big lunch with typical German meals. We played board
games with my aunts and uncles and in the evening we had dinner again. On the
second Christmas day, we usually just hung at home and I played with all the
new toys that I got or when I turned older with my electronics.
In America Christmas is different, since Americans
don’t really celebrate on December 24th. Here it starts early in the
morning of the 25th (depending on your kids age).
Christmas is a lot about presents, but in Germany we
care a lot about the family as well. This Christmas in America, we also had a
lot of good food, but I personally like the German meals better.
Part III:
Cooking in Germany is a big thing. It is family time.
Many Americans think of German food as being all about Bratwurst and Sauerkraut
but there is a lot more.
German put a lot of effort into cooking and also into
the quality of their food. We always try to find a healthy balance and there
are vegetable in almost every meal that we prepare.
Traditionally,
Germans eat three meals per day and it is common in almost every family. On
weekdays, the main meal of the day is lunch, and it is traditional for shops
and businesses to close down at this time usually from noon to 2pm. A lot of
German people go home for lunch at 12:00 if possible and do not return to work
until 1pm or even 2pm. Families eat lunch together if they can, mostly at home
but sometimes in a restaurant or beer garden. Dinner is a light meal, similar
to the American lunch. We often just eat bread or rolls with all kinds of
cheese or cold meats.
On the weekends, most Germans have the main meal at
dinnertime. In the summer, we often have Barbecues around 5pm as a combination
of lunch and dinner.
We try to keep our meals balanced which mean that we
have many combinations of ingredients. Germans use potatoes as their staple
food because you can combine it with almost everything.
There are a lot of traditional German meals that have
been changed during the years but we still enjoy some classics like Bratwurst
with potatoes, Sauerkraut and beer.
A typical dinner at our house would be for example
asparagus with potatoes and “Sauerbraten” (roast beef cured in vinegar and
wine).
Another really important food for Germans is bread in
all variations. We eat it for breakfast, as a snack and for dinner as well. We eat
soft bread like toast but also hard ones like our “Schwarzbrot” or dark bread.
In Germany, it is also very expensive to go out for
dinner that’s why only few families go out to eat.
This is a big contrast to America. Here, it is really
expansive to buy your groceries to cook and going out is a lot cheaper. That’s
why a lot of Americans go out for dinner.
Also, in America the mean meal of the day is dinner.
It is technically our German lunch.
American cooking seems a lot like heating up to me.
Whenever I “cook” I mostly just put the meal in the microwave.
Also, when you go through the grocery store in
America, all the vegetables are pre-cut. Even the boiled eggs are already
pealed.
In Germany, we do all that at home right before
starting to cook. We think the fresh cut ingredients taste better, than the
pre-cut ones.
Americans have a lot of different traditional meals
than Germans. On Thanksgiving for example they eat stuffed turkey or sweet
potatoes.
Although both countries are really different, I like
both kinds of meals a lot.
Gestern und heute musste ich beide Tage arbeiten. Gestern hab ich ne Menge Hausarbeiten erledigt und das schöne Wetter draußen genossen und heute ziemlich genau so. Ach, gestern abend hab ich noch Brot gebacken!!:) Ich finds ziemlich lecker, auch wenn es nicht wirklich aufgegangen ist.
Heute morgen war ich mit Jill in der Christiana Mall, weil sie sich noch ein Kleid kaufen musste (ich hab zum Glück mal kein Geld ausgegeben... wo nichts ist...haha)
Bis bald, xx!!
